Spam - the American Heritage Dictionary renders these definitions:
A trademark used for a canned meat product consisting primarily of chopped pork pressed into a loaf.
Unsolicited email, often of a commercial nature, sent indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups; junk email.

Yum…If, like myself you gave up on the traditional “wall of death” meat products in the grocery store long ago in favor of more humane forms of protein, the idea of eating chopped, unidentifiable bits of leftover pork parts, crudely seasoned and then mashed into a sweaty can is simply repulsive.

If, like myself, you endure a constant onslaught of fire and forget advertising full of hack and slash marketing pitches for everything from wrinkle reduction sauces to cyber stalking date portals; the idea of an email inbox free from such muck is perhaps part of a dream we all have of cyberspace nirvana.

My purpose here is to be your anti-spam internet spirit guide, leading you on a journey of enlightenment; and - perhaps - an internet existence freed from the clutches of the vile attacking horde of the mass mail marketer.  I am qualified because I have made this pilgrimage before and I can guide you on your path to freedom.